Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Kickass Ball

The Big Red Ballers vs. The Fighting Cocks

On Sunday my kickball team, The Big Red Ballers, had a scrimmage before our first game next Sunday (if anyone wants to come cheer us on since my boyfriend will be in Indiana for the second weekend in a row I would appreciate it). We were supposed to be playing The Fighting Cocks, but ended up playing a conglomeration of the best players from each team. Needless to say we got our butts handed to us. Final score: Big Red Ballers 11, the rest of the Wicker Park Kickball Association 53. I don't want to make excuses, we do have a lot of work to do to make it to the championship, but we are the underdogs. When I got to the field, the first thing I noticed was the other team had only one woman, whereas our team is about 50/50. The rest of their team was made up of huge jock men and one guy that looked like a shorter dopier version of Silent Bob.

If I hadn't known that the other team was made up four or five teams, and were not all The Fighting Cocks, I would have said they lived up to their name. Of course we were trash talkin' and having a good time, but there is a line that The Ballers did not cross. I can't say that for a lot of the other guys (of course not all of them were jerks). I know you're a big strong man, I know you're whoopin' our ass, but really, IT' S KICKBALL! Relax and have a good time. Geesh. In fact, one of our players had a Velcro shirt on which spelled out the words (one letter at a time) Kickball Motherfukr (he ran out of room for the letter c). He had the right idea.

The biggest jerk on their team was Silent Bob. Maybe he felt as the shortest, ugliest, stupidest guy on the team he had to prove himself or something, but he was pissin' us off from the get go. Grabbing his crotch at us, yelling really offensive stuff at us women, and just being a jerk. As he was running home, our pitcher (the biggest guy on our team) threw the ball at him and got him out. Not only did he get him out, but he hit him in the balls! Silent Bob didn't like that too much and ran up to our pitcher and started pushing him around. He even had to jump to smack his face! Our pitcher just kind of looked at him like, "You really want to do this, man?" While my team yelled things like "Wow, I can't believe he hit such a small target with such a big ball." I believe that our pitcher didn't mean to hit him there, even though he deserved it. In fact, I don't think that our pitcher even did hit him there, Silent Bob was just trying to start a fight and continue being a jerk. He's just lucky that our pitcher was the bigger man (this time I mean that metaphorically) and didn't pummel the dweeb.

Our current team used to be an unofficial kickball league, which has now officially joined forces with the Wicker Park Kickball Association, so our team is very large: 28 players, excluding Coach. That means not a lot of play time, so we have to make our time on the field and at base count. As always, I gave it my all and did alright, but I need to practice throwing. I don't have the upper arm strength nor the height to make that ball fly far. I'm going to buy a ball and make Tim play catch with me. And if he doesn't, he will pay.


Carrie said...

you make some amazing graphics sarah!

Kiecker said...

Sarah I love all the pictures you make. They really do add so much to your blog. Please keep them coming.

M-Life said...

Dear Sarah,
The Fighting Cocks you played are not only horrible but they are also IMPOSTERS!!
Our kickball team is the original Fightin' Cocks since 2003.
We demand the heads of these imposter Cocks.
Will you help us in our quest for vengence?
Thank you for your support of the one and only true Fightin' Cocks kickball team.

M-Life said...

and we are from Minneapolis!