I feel at a loss whenever I have to refer to Tim in relation to myself. There are only a few words I can use, and they all seem so limited and not quite right.
Single: According to the law, we are considered single. I consider single to mean not attached, and if he ever told someone he was single he would get hurt.
Boyfriend: I had a boyfriend in seventh grade, I went to prom with my boyfriend. It just doesn’t eem serious enough. I could call someone I just met and went on a few dates with my oyfriend. Maybe for the first year or two, but it’s more than that.
Fiancé: We’re not engaged until I get my ring (bring on the feminist ranting and call me a hypocrite).
Husband: We’re not married. We’re not even engaged (see previous paragraph).
Significant Other: Too many syllables.
Domestic partner: This is what our health insurance and gym considers us. I think this is a fancy word for special roommates or long term gay couples (or both). But it’s the closest I can get to what it is. Still whenever I saw “my partner and I…” people seem to have no idea what I’m talking about.
Is this a problem with our society and little boxes called categories? Yes. We’re still stuck in this heteronormative ideal that says you are either single (not attached), almost married, or married. Argh.
My grandma seems to have a problem with this too. The last time I went to see her Tim didn’t come along. As I was saying goodbye to her she said, “Next time bring your…your…your Tim with you.”
I think she hit it. He’s my Tim.